Thursday, August 13, 2009
Fun way to get your kids to eat their dinner
My children are generally the slowest eaters known to man. What can I say I think they get it from their mother :) There are times we have sat at the dinner table for over an hour to eat a relatively small meal. It drives my husband crazy because he is a pretty quick eater and doesn't want to leave the table until we are all done. Out of desperation we found a new game called "Beat the Clock" What you do is set the timer for 15 minutes, and tell the kids to "beat the clock" and eat all of their food before it goes off. When the timer dings dinner is over. Because our children are still relatively young and 15 minutes is a large number that they don't quite comprehend yet we tweaked it a little. We wait until they start to wind down in their eating and set it for 4 minutes. They think it is great. They have actually started asking to play this game at dinner time. When the timer dings they willingly get down from the table. It is so nice to be able to eat dinner without constantly saying "Eat your dinner" "Hurry up" and so on.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Let's Try That Again!
Skill: Using a Verbal Prompt
When to use it: For sassing, demanding, whining, and other inappropriate child comments.
In a nutshell: Give your kids a chance to self-correct. Simply reminding them of appropriate behavior may be all it takes.
It drives me crazy when my kids use a demanding, sassy, or whiny voice tone. Too often, I find myself responding in the same kind of voice! Have you ever heard a child say, "Get me some juice!" and the parent respond, "Do I look like your servant?" in the same kind of whiny, childish voice tone? It is up to us as parents to set the verbal tone in our homes! One way to do this is to use a verbal prompt. If your little diva demands her dinner, instead of answering in an equally inappropriate voice tone, try something like this: "Can you ask with kind words?" or "Let's try that over again." Will it work every time? Of course not! But for many situations, all the child needs is a little verbal prompting. You may be surprised!
Try this: If (umm....when...) you get a sassy or inappropriate response from your kids today, try your pre-set line such as "Let's try that again." Did they self-correct? Let us know how it goes!
Alison
When to use it: For sassing, demanding, whining, and other inappropriate child comments.
In a nutshell: Give your kids a chance to self-correct. Simply reminding them of appropriate behavior may be all it takes.
It drives me crazy when my kids use a demanding, sassy, or whiny voice tone. Too often, I find myself responding in the same kind of voice! Have you ever heard a child say, "Get me some juice!" and the parent respond, "Do I look like your servant?" in the same kind of whiny, childish voice tone? It is up to us as parents to set the verbal tone in our homes! One way to do this is to use a verbal prompt. If your little diva demands her dinner, instead of answering in an equally inappropriate voice tone, try something like this: "Can you ask with kind words?" or "Let's try that over again." Will it work every time? Of course not! But for many situations, all the child needs is a little verbal prompting. You may be surprised!
Try this: If (umm....when...) you get a sassy or inappropriate response from your kids today, try your pre-set line such as "Let's try that again." Did they self-correct? Let us know how it goes!
Alison
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
AMI is great
A special thanks to all who came to the August 4th class. It was great. I enjoyed all of your comments. I think the one of the best parts of attending the meetings is learning from each of your experiences.
Thanks to Allison for preparing the lesson. You always do a great job!
Leslie
Thanks to Allison for preparing the lesson. You always do a great job!
Leslie
Skill: Be Proactive!
Skill: Be Proactive
When to use it: All the time!
In a nutshell: Take a little time to plan ahead in your parenting. How will you deal with appropriate behavior? How will you deal with inappropriate behavior? When you take time to plan, you save time in discipline problems!
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Does anyone else ever mother "insanely?" I often find myself in the movie Groundhog Day, reliving the same situations over and over. Like whenever we cross the threshold of any store, my three-year-old automatically needs to go to the bathroom--because I forgot to take her before we left home again. Or when I don't plan ahead on Sunday mornings and spend the last few minutes yelling at everyone to hurry up and get in the car as we finish dressing and putting on shoes on the way. Or even when I know a bedtime tantrum is approaching, but I continue on the same grumpy course of the previous night.
A valid principle of human behavior is that if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. On the other hand, taking a little time to plan ahead and be a PROACTIVE parent can break the repetitious insanity cycle we often find ourselves trapped in. Here are a couple suggestions for shaking things up, and hopefully breaking out of a rut.
1. Change the environment
What can you do to change the environment where problems tend to occur? An easy solution for a toddler who keeps breaking things is to baby proof the house and move anything valuable or dangerous to higher ground. Maybe a teenager will open up more eating pizza over lunch in a restaurant instead of a late-night confrontation at home. Use music to change the environment of your house during mealtimes or cleaning up. My friend Amy Means manages a nightly devotional time with her young children by lighting a candle. The family loves gathering around the flickering light as they spend time together and then blowing it out with a wish when they are done. Another friend, Jennifer Porter, made special pillows for each child to sit on when it was time to read together to help little children stay in one place. These are both great examples of parents being proactive in changing the environment to help manage behaviors.
2. Put it on paper
Take some time to make a list of a few problem behaviors. Next to each problem, brainstorm a proactive solution. Here's one example (that has never, never, happened at my house): Imagine a child who consistently leaves a bike out in back of the car. A reactive solution would be to yell and ask dumb questions like, "When will you ever learn to take care of your things!? Do you want me to run over your bike???" A proactive solution would be to teach the child what you expect, show them where their bike belongs, and then tell them they have the privilege of riding the bike each day when they have put it away properly. If it is not put away, they will deny themselves the privilege of riding the bike for 24 hours. Write this plan down! Then if the bike is left out, calmly follow through with your plan. When we are proactive on paper beforehand, it helps us parent better in the heat of the moment. You're less likely to turn into the Mommy Monster and behave even worse than your kids did.
3. Practice
It may sound silly, but role playing how you will deal with a flare-up is a great way to be a proactive parent. Practice saying things like, "I'm sorry you're sad" instead of "Stop that yelling!" Practice saying, "That show is not appropriate" instead of giving in to the begging and then feeling like a pushover. Practice ahead of time, so you don't have to try to have all the answers when emotions are high.
Try this:
Make your list of triggers and misbehaviors. Write down how you can change the environment or change your response, and then practice being the great mom you want to be! Be PROACTIVE!
Skill: Be Proactive
When to use it: All the time!
In a nutshell: Take a little time to plan ahead in your parenting. How will you deal with appropriate behavior? How will you deal with inappropriate behavior? When you take time to plan, you save time in discipline problems!
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Does anyone else ever mother "insanely?" I often find myself in the movie Groundhog Day, reliving the same situations over and over. Like whenever we cross the threshold of any store, my three-year-old automatically needs to go to the bathroom--because I forgot to take her before we left home again. Or when I don't plan ahead on Sunday mornings and spend the last few minutes yelling at everyone to hurry up and get in the car as we finish dressing and putting on shoes on the way. Or even when I know a bedtime tantrum is approaching, but I continue on the same grumpy course of the previous night.
A valid principle of human behavior is that if you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. On the other hand, taking a little time to plan ahead and be a PROACTIVE parent can break the repetitious insanity cycle we often find ourselves trapped in. Here are a couple suggestions for shaking things up, and hopefully breaking out of a rut.
1. Change the environment
What can you do to change the environment where problems tend to occur? An easy solution for a toddler who keeps breaking things is to baby proof the house and move anything valuable or dangerous to higher ground. Maybe a teenager will open up more eating pizza over lunch in a restaurant instead of a late-night confrontation at home. Use music to change the environment of your house during mealtimes or cleaning up. My friend Amy Means manages a nightly devotional time with her young children by lighting a candle. The family loves gathering around the flickering light as they spend time together and then blowing it out with a wish when they are done. Another friend, Jennifer Porter, made special pillows for each child to sit on when it was time to read together to help little children stay in one place. These are both great examples of parents being proactive in changing the environment to help manage behaviors.
2. Put it on paper
Take some time to make a list of a few problem behaviors. Next to each problem, brainstorm a proactive solution. Here's one example (that has never, never, happened at my house): Imagine a child who consistently leaves a bike out in back of the car. A reactive solution would be to yell and ask dumb questions like, "When will you ever learn to take care of your things!? Do you want me to run over your bike???" A proactive solution would be to teach the child what you expect, show them where their bike belongs, and then tell them they have the privilege of riding the bike each day when they have put it away properly. If it is not put away, they will deny themselves the privilege of riding the bike for 24 hours. Write this plan down! Then if the bike is left out, calmly follow through with your plan. When we are proactive on paper beforehand, it helps us parent better in the heat of the moment. You're less likely to turn into the Mommy Monster and behave even worse than your kids did.
3. Practice
It may sound silly, but role playing how you will deal with a flare-up is a great way to be a proactive parent. Practice saying things like, "I'm sorry you're sad" instead of "Stop that yelling!" Practice saying, "That show is not appropriate" instead of giving in to the begging and then feeling like a pushover. Practice ahead of time, so you don't have to try to have all the answers when emotions are high.
Try this:
Make your list of triggers and misbehaviors. Write down how you can change the environment or change your response, and then practice being the great mom you want to be! Be PROACTIVE!
Literacy: Shoe Box Train Rescue
Here is the literacy activity from our August 4th meeting. It will be fun to get this book from the public library and read it together right before we make our train. It would be fun to read it again while they decorate their box cars. Developmentally this is for a 2-5-year-old child, but my 1-year-old loves pulling anything that has a string attached, she will love this.
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