We hope everyone can come to our Christmas Potluck. We'll have our regularly scheduled parenting class, as well as share our favorite Holiday goodies. Please bring a finger-food, treat, or appetizer to share and come ready to have fun.
We have a big announcement to share at the meeting!
See you there!
Date: Tuesday, December 1
Time: 6pm - 8pm
Place: Peckham Community Center 715 Everett St. Caldwell (corner of Kimball and Everett)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Time-In or Time-Out?
Skill: Time-In
When to use it: All the time, especially if you want time-out to ever work
In a nutshell: Before a parent can ever use time-out effectively, "time-in" has to be well in place. "Time-in" is the fun, reinforcing, safe, and enjoyable environment in your home. When a home has a positive feeling, a child removed to time-out knows he is missing out on the good stuff. If time-out is not going well, maybe it is because "time-in" is lacking. Try increasing the encouragement, attention, physical and verbal affection, and just plain fun that happens at your house. But be careful...having great "time-in" times may just about eliminate your need for much "time-out!"
Try this: How long has it been since the tickle monster visited your children? What about a hungry bear who loves it when children wake him up from hibernation so he can eat them up? Where are your bubbles? Hoola-hoops? Face-paints and funny hats? Today, instead of just finding stuff for your kids to do, PLAY with them! Be silly and enjoy the magic that happens by making a child laugh. What are your favorite ways to play? Share your best!
When to use it: All the time, especially if you want time-out to ever work
In a nutshell: Before a parent can ever use time-out effectively, "time-in" has to be well in place. "Time-in" is the fun, reinforcing, safe, and enjoyable environment in your home. When a home has a positive feeling, a child removed to time-out knows he is missing out on the good stuff. If time-out is not going well, maybe it is because "time-in" is lacking. Try increasing the encouragement, attention, physical and verbal affection, and just plain fun that happens at your house. But be careful...having great "time-in" times may just about eliminate your need for much "time-out!"
Try this: How long has it been since the tickle monster visited your children? What about a hungry bear who loves it when children wake him up from hibernation so he can eat them up? Where are your bubbles? Hoola-hoops? Face-paints and funny hats? Today, instead of just finding stuff for your kids to do, PLAY with them! Be silly and enjoy the magic that happens by making a child laugh. What are your favorite ways to play? Share your best!
Time-In or Time-Out?
Skill: "Time-Out"
When to use it: When a child's behavior cannot be ignored or redirected, or the child's behavior is taking over the situation and has become the object of everyone's attention. Examples may include a child who is hitting other children and interfering with their positive play, or a child who is out of control and throwing objects.
Ages: Best for around ages 2 - 7. Much younger children don't usually get it, and other discipline forms like removal of privileges work better for older children.
In a nutshell:
Don't: Threaten, yell, scare, or become otherwise ugly and mean. You can be firm and still remain in control.
Don't: Threaten time-out. Think about it..."Do you want to go to time out?" is not a very intelligent question.
Don't: Apologize for putting a child in time-out. Appropriate discipline doesn't need apologies.
Do: Use a less-intensive method of intervention when possible, such as changing the mood with humor, ignoring inconsequential behaviors, or using the stop-redirect-reinforce method. When a behavior needs a time-out, be prepared to follow through to the end.
Do: Find a non-scary but totally dull location for time-out.
Do: Say something like, "When you behave this way, you may not be with us."
Do: Lead the child to time-out. Say, "When the timer goes off, if you are behaving nicely, you may come and see me."
Do: Set a timer for 30 sec per year up to age 3, and 3 minutes past calm down after age 4.
Do: When the child completes the time-out and comes to you, smile and say "I'm glad you...." and be about your business. Be positive and MOVE ON.
Try this: Role play "going to time-out" with your child. When things are going well and the emotion is neutral, teach them your expectations. Let them know which behaviors will result in a time-out. Show them where it is, practice going there and setting the timer, and practice coming out.
When to use it: When a child's behavior cannot be ignored or redirected, or the child's behavior is taking over the situation and has become the object of everyone's attention. Examples may include a child who is hitting other children and interfering with their positive play, or a child who is out of control and throwing objects.
Ages: Best for around ages 2 - 7. Much younger children don't usually get it, and other discipline forms like removal of privileges work better for older children.
In a nutshell:
Don't: Threaten, yell, scare, or become otherwise ugly and mean. You can be firm and still remain in control.
Don't: Threaten time-out. Think about it..."Do you want to go to time out?" is not a very intelligent question.
Don't: Apologize for putting a child in time-out. Appropriate discipline doesn't need apologies.
Do: Use a less-intensive method of intervention when possible, such as changing the mood with humor, ignoring inconsequential behaviors, or using the stop-redirect-reinforce method. When a behavior needs a time-out, be prepared to follow through to the end.
Do: Find a non-scary but totally dull location for time-out.
Do: Say something like, "When you behave this way, you may not be with us."
Do: Lead the child to time-out. Say, "When the timer goes off, if you are behaving nicely, you may come and see me."
Do: Set a timer for 30 sec per year up to age 3, and 3 minutes past calm down after age 4.
Do: When the child completes the time-out and comes to you, smile and say "I'm glad you...." and be about your business. Be positive and MOVE ON.
Try this: Role play "going to time-out" with your child. When things are going well and the emotion is neutral, teach them your expectations. Let them know which behaviors will result in a time-out. Show them where it is, practice going there and setting the timer, and practice coming out.
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